How to Cook a Turkey.
I noticed a bulletin board at P’s preschool today labeled, “How to Cook a Turkey.” It seems the teachers had asked the kids how their parents cook turkeys and had then transcribed the responses verbatim on cut-out turkeys. I was nervous as I looked for P’s turkey. If it had been a board about preparing macaroni and cheese or corn flakes, I would have been much more confident about how I had likely been represented. But a turkey?
I was really expecting P’s response to be a lot like little Clayton’s.
Because, you know, it would be true. Unless nuking the occasional turkey dog counts.
As it turns out, P did me a solid, and of all the kids’ responses, hers was the only one that suggested a mother with a bit of a clue.
Okay, so the cooking time is a little short, but relatively speaking, she did a fantastic job. I mean, check out Ryleigh’s.
And Harley’s.
Harley’s mom and I were checking out the board at the same time, and I could tell she was simultaneously amused and appalled as she read Harley’s turkey.
Little Briton’s response sort of disturbed me.
But at least the shooting comes before the cooking. That’s something, I guess.
I lucked out this time, but I’m a little nervous about the theme of next month’s bulletin board. If it’s something like, “How Often I’m Bathed,” or “The Words My Mommy Uses that I Can’t Use,” I think I’m in trouble.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
How about “How Often My Mom Changes the Sheets on My Bed”?
November 8th, 2009 at 9:59 am
There is a bulletin board at Lucía´s school too, and once the teacher asked about their mother´s favorite hobby(something like that),and she said: my mother loves drinking wine!!!!! oh me! everyone looks at me kind of weird since then!
November 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am
My best friend from med school Alyssa and I were on a girl’s weekend in Hot Springs this past weekend – we read this Friday night and laughed so hard we were crying! Unfortunately, the copious wine we had consumed prevented me from being able to comment at the time. I just couldn’t figure it out. How to type, that is. Laughing still worked. So did sharing youtube videos and songs. Not typing.
November 9th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Wait a second. Is this commonplace–teachers asking children about their parents’ behaviors? If so, I am screwed. If Lily were asked about me, she’d probably say something like “My mommy teaches me to use the DVD player so that I can watch Rudolph eight times a day.”
November 11th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Hey! I am Lisa’s friend from Newport. I thought this was so cute that I asked my four year old grandchild how her mother would cook a turkey. She said “Put it in the oven”. How long I asked, “About 4 minutes”. I then asked her if that was was long enough and she said “I guess she should just cook it however long she wants – is that long enough MIMI?”
Don’t feel bad – I am 53 and I have never cooked a turkey!
November 11th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Dina – I hereby challenge you to a sheet changing contest (kid bed edition, of course). I’ll bet I can hold out far longer than you!
Marta – I hadn’t even thought of that as a possible response! I really DO need to be more careful! Oh, and I bet those aren’t weird looks those parents are giving you. I’m sure they are looks of jealousy!
Liz – You can’t see me, but I’m giving you a look of jealousy owing to that trip of yours – lumpy coffee and all!
Lara – Yeah – who knew teachers could be so brilliantly devious? We’re guilty of encouraging the same skills for the same reason.
Lynn – Sounds like Hannah has her finger on the pulse of Betty Crocker! I feel much better knowing you haven’t done the turkey thing before either!
May 17th, 2010 at 8:01 am
Those are truly gems. And they make so much sense, especially the logic of cooking the turkey after it has been shot, appreciated probably by everyone, including the turkey.
July 27th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
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